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INT COCKTAIL LOUNGE - NIGHT
A portly MIDDLE AGED MAN in a tight T-shirt bearing the
legend "I LOVE TO PARTY" mumbles/sings "Besse me Mucho" into
the Karaoke microphone. A glitter-glue sign behind him
reads: "Wednesday is Lady's Night". The bar is populated
with more patrons of mid-western proportion, as well as a few
youngish women sporting high-perm hairdos and semi-sexy
outfits. They are all but oblivious to the drowsy crooner.
Bill, at the bar, tries to get the attention of the
bartender, CHIP, who seems way too busy for such a small
crowd.
BILL
(gesturing)
'Scuse me... Say, could I... 'Scuse me...
CHIP
Hang on, one sec.
Chip pours from five or six bottles into a blender and
blends. He pours out a bizarre fluorescent concoction into
two sugar encrusted margarita glasses. He adds umbrellas,
skewered fruit, etc. and puts them on a tray in the waitress
station.
CHIP
Okay. What can I do you for?
BILL
What are those?
CHIP
That there's called a Corpus Christi.
It's like a margarita but with 151 rum,
vodka, tequila, and Grande Marnier in a
sugared glass. Oh, and cranberry juice.
BILL
Body of Christ, you're not kidding.
CHIP
Body of What?
BILL
Body of Christ. You know, Corpus
Christi, Body of Christ. It's Latin for
Body of Christ.
CHIP
No, I don't think so. This is like from
Corpus Christi, Texas. You know, down
south.
BILL
Ah. I'll just have a Scotch on the
rocks, please. Do you have Dewars?
CHIP
Yeah, but that's a call brand. It's 75¢
extra.
BILL
Make it a double.
CHIP
Roger that.
Chip gets to work. Bill watches a WAITRESS collect the
Corpus Christis and deliver them to two women, BRANDY and
KIM, seated at a table across the room. Chip puts Bill's
cocktail on the bar.
CHIP
Here y'are. That's three twenty-five.
But, uh, maybe you better start a tab.
Chip nods slightly, indicating Brandy and Kim who are now
making a bee line across the room toward Bill.
CHIP
(conspiratorially)
I tell ya. Them Corpus Christis are like
Spanish Fly.
Turning to look, Bill picks up his drink and immediately
sloshes it onto himself.
BILL
Shit. Yeah, gimme a tab.
As he sips and blots, Brandy and Kim sidle up on his blind
side.
KIM
Yeah, they pour 'em pretty full here,
huh?
BILL
No, I was just trying to get drunk by
osmosis.
KIM
(doesn't get it)
Yeah, we come here all the time. It's
great.
BILL
Yeah, great. Are you gonna sing?
BRANDY
They ain't got no good songs here. Kim's
gonna do "Voulez-Vous Couchez Avec Moi".
KIM
Shut up! You're gonna. I need to have a
couple more of these first. (drinks)
BILL
So, you two are from around here?
BRANDY
Yep. We go to the community college.
And we're room mates. I'm originally
from Tucamcari, though. That's in New
Mexico.
BILL
Sounds like a nice place.
KIM
Yeah, if you're a tumbleweed.
BRANDY
Yeah, Amarillo's a lot more cosmopolitan.
BILL
Yes, I can see that.
The singer finishes "Besse me Mucho" to a smattering of
disinterested applause.
DJ
Alllright. That was Earl. Great job
Earl. Now I need Bernice... Bernice.
Where are you, Sweetheart. C'mon... Bern-
There you are!
BERNICE, a bargain-basement Patsy Cline in full satin and
fringe regalia approaches the microphone.
KIM
Hey! Bernice! Whooo!
(to Bill)
She's really good.
Bernice begins a slow, torchy number. And she is pretty
good. Bill and the girls get into the music.
BILL
Wow.
BRANDY
So, are you staying at the hotel?
BILL
Yeah, I'm driving cross country to
California.
BRANDY
Really? Where from?
BILL
Indianapolis. It's not all the way
across the country from LA, but it's at
least two thirds. Route 66. You know...
BRANDY
That's a long way to go all by yourself.
BILL
Oh, I had a friend with me; it's his car;
but he had to get home in a big hurry.
His wife went into labor.
KIM
Oh my God. Did she have the baby right
in the car?
BILL
No, no. She's back in LA. He had to
catch a plane in Oklahoma.
BRANDY
But that's in the other direction.
KIM
Did you have to back-track?
BILL
No no. It was on the way. I mean, we
were in Oklahoma when he got the call.
And there was a plane out of Oklahoma
City. It was really pretty lucky how it
worked out.
KIM
I been to that airport.
BRANDY
You're driving his car all the way out
there all by yourself? That's so sweet.
BILL
Well, I was interested in seeing America;
you know, the adventure- Keroac, "On the
Road" - meeting interesting people. []
BRANDY
I always wanted to go to Hollywood and
see all the movie stars. Do you work in
the movies?
BILL
Well, I'm not from... I mean, my friend
does. He's always talking about some
celebrity he's just seen in the grocery
store. I think Tony Danza lives in his
neighborhood.
BRANDY
Wow, that's so cool.
KIM
(to someone in the crowd)
Hey Lurlene!
(to Bill)
Well, it was nice to meet you...
BILL
Bill.
KIM
Bill. I'm Kim and this is Brandy. She's
a fine girl.
BRANDY
Shut up!
KIM
Have a good trip!
She exchanges looks with Brandy and scoots off toward
Lurlene.
KIM (cont'd)
(walking away)
Hey Lurlene! this guy knows Tony Danza!
A short interval passes while Brandy and Bill listen to the
singer and nod at each other. Recognizing the lull, Brandy
tips up her glass and finishes the remaining two thirds.
BRANDY
So Bill, you wanna buy me a drink?
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©1998 Mark W. Gray
WGA Registered
#686823